MOAR SMOL COMPUTERS!

RK3399, 4 GiB RAM, dual gigabit ethernet, USB3 SBC. Bare board not in stock so got these housed in hefty metal enclosures which apparently act as heat sinks too!

Future home of coales.co (except database/content files as they're staying on the recently deployed storage server)

Show thread

AliExpress WTF 

Who the hell is training their algorithms I can't even...sigh...

WHY ALIEXPRESS WHYYYYY???

Show thread

AliExpress WTF 

Fembots for only...

(raises pinky to face)

$17.87?

NO AliExpress I most definitely may NOT like (CW lewdish WTF product shot)

Pandemic malarkey 

There is (was?) a group of quack doctors (sadly some of whom still have valid licenses to practice) that started a company called "Enable Air" as an "exemption certificate mill". Simply by filling a form out and uh..paying a fee...you too can have certificate declaring you are exempt from being a responsible human being!

Check out this incredible totally legit looking Official Document :blobcheeky:

In my work inbox today. Does Google do any sort of proofreading or QC at all?

All the mistakes, plus the fact it was sent to me directly and not our IT inbox, makes me think it is phishing, but the headers indicate it actually came from Google, and my employer (unfortunately) uses gmail as its email provider and it's pretty aggressive at blocking Google phishing stuff.

Version 6.0 was Peak Microsoft Word

It was mostly all down hill from here

Show thread

AAAA! The bundled floppies are still there!

I still have drive to read them...now all I need is a working motherboard that supports it

Show thread

Ah the 4 genders... male, female, plural and...er...neuter 😬

Show thread

It is 1989 and according to "WordPerfect 5.1 Macros and Templates" gender is fluid.

It's a fact.

Show thread

WYSIWYG? What's that? The funny wigs they wear in British courts?

To get the secrets of the print you must reveal all the codez!

Show thread

Laser printers used to be so exotic and mysterious that they warranted a whole chapter on its own.

What is your Font Strategy? How do you use Cartridge Fonts? (If it doesn't work try blowing on it before plugging it into the printer!) How do you install soft fonts?

You don't even want to know how you'd distribute these fonts with a WP file!

Show thread

OK this stuff is kinda at the bottom of this old bin, and so it's certainly of the past century. Indeed we may be descending into the tail end of the 1980s here

I used WordPerfect 5.1 until people started looking at me funny for using it.

The Que book "Using WordPerfect" was very useful and well used. The Bantam book about the macros was too though it was WAY more extensive than I ever needed.

WP had very powerful and underappreciated macro capabilities.

Show thread

I was blessed with the good fortune of receiving my training in a Very Special certification session.

In addition to becoming Certifiable we each went home with a jar of Sockarooni pasta sauce, a bottle of balsamic vinaigrette salad dressing and a VHS copy of "The Towering Inferno"*

*DVD available by mail for a small postage and handling fee

Show thread

The top document indicates I completed the course, making me Certifiable I guess.

The bottom document declares I am Certified to administer Citrix Metaframe 1.8...if anyone needs my services (hey there's no expiry date!)

Show thread
Show older

Hometown is adapted from Mastodon, a decentralized social network with no ads, no corporate surveillance, and ethical design.

<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" id="hometownlogo" x="0px" y="0px" viewBox="25 40 50 20" width="100%" height="100%"><g><path d="M55.9,53.9H35.3c-0.7,0-1.3,0.6-1.3,1.3s0.6,1.3,1.3,1.3h20.6c0.7,0,1.3-0.6,1.3-1.3S56.6,53.9,55.9,53.9z"/><path d="M55.9,58.2H35.3c-0.7,0-1.3,0.6-1.3,1.3s0.6,1.3,1.3,1.3h20.6c0.7,0,1.3-0.6,1.3-1.3S56.6,58.2,55.9,58.2z"/><path d="M55.9,62.6H35.3c-0.7,0-1.3,0.6-1.3,1.3s0.6,1.3,1.3,1.3h20.6c0.7,0,1.3-0.6,1.3-1.3S56.6,62.6,55.9,62.6z"/><path d="M64.8,53.9c-0.7,0-1.3,0.6-1.3,1.3v8.8c0,0.7,0.6,1.3,1.3,1.3s1.3-0.6,1.3-1.3v-8.8C66,54.4,65.4,53.9,64.8,53.9z"/><path d="M60.4,53.9c-0.7,0-1.3,0.6-1.3,1.3v8.8c0,0.7,0.6,1.3,1.3,1.3s1.3-0.6,1.3-1.3v-8.8C61.6,54.4,61.1,53.9,60.4,53.9z"/><path d="M63.7,48.3c1.3-0.7,2-2.5,2-5.6c0-3.6-0.9-7.8-3.3-7.8s-3.3,4.2-3.3,7.8c0,3.1,0.7,4.9,2,5.6v2.4c0,0.7,0.6,1.3,1.3,1.3 s1.3-0.6,1.3-1.3V48.3z M62.4,37.8c0.4,0.8,0.8,2.5,0.8,4.9c0,2.5-0.5,3.4-0.8,3.4s-0.8-0.9-0.8-3.4C61.7,40.3,62.1,38.6,62.4,37.8 z"/><path d="M57,42.7c0-0.1-0.1-0.1-0.1-0.2l-3.2-4.1c-0.2-0.3-0.6-0.5-1-0.5h-1.6v-1.9c0-0.7-0.6-1.3-1.3-1.3s-1.3,0.6-1.3,1.3V38 h-3.9h-1.1h-5.2c-0.4,0-0.7,0.2-1,0.5l-3.2,4.1c0,0.1-0.1,0.1-0.1,0.2c0,0-0.1,0.1-0.1,0.1C34,43,34,43.2,34,43.3v7.4 c0,0.7,0.6,1.3,1.3,1.3h5.2h7.4h8c0.7,0,1.3-0.6,1.3-1.3v-7.4c0-0.2,0-0.3-0.1-0.4C57,42.8,57,42.8,57,42.7z M41.7,49.5h-5.2v-4.9 h10.2v4.9H41.7z M48.5,42.1l-1.2-1.6h4.8l1.2,1.6H48.5z M44.1,40.5l1.2,1.6h-7.5l1.2-1.6H44.1z M49.2,44.6h5.5v4.9h-5.5V44.6z"/></g></svg>